Moments...

The house is so quiet tonight. Wade has to work late, so I ate dinner with my parents but came home to an empty house. It's so weird. I am being a good wife and waiting to start American Idol until hubby gets home.

Do you ever hear a song that takes you back? I woke up early on Saturday morning and after being 1 pound over my weight schedule at the Dr. on Friday I was motivated to start walking. Wade had a lot of work to do at home, so I went on a walk with my IPOD. This Patti Griffin song came on that took me back to the summer of 2006. I could just picture everything. I was sitting on the front of the Hickey's boat listening to that song on the most beautiful day. The sun was shining...I was in the company of great friends...and I remember just soaking it all in thinking "this is an absolutely perfect day." I downloaded that song because it reminded me of how much fun that weekend was. I remember who was on the boat...my girls...West, Suzi and Crystal...and some boys we had been hanging out with...Eric, Todd and this Wade Hanegan dude. Wade and I had gotten to know each other, but I was definitely looking at it as a "friend" relationship at this point. I remember he was wearing Eric's mom's sunglasses on the boat and we were probably flirting, but the word "husband" really hadn't entered my mind.

Anyways...the point of this story is...

The Patti Griffin song was now playing while I was walking in Sienna Plantation...pregnant...while my husband...Wade Hanegan...was in the backyard power washing the deck of OUR house. A huge smile came to my face and I started laughing to myself thinking "Wow, God!" It hit me there that my plans don't mean a thing. I cannot predict where our lives will go. I cannot time when things happen. Looking back on these past few years and the places I have gone I never thought I would...I am thankful that God is so much smarter than me. I am thankful that his path is right and perfect...and that he doesn't need my help to make it happen.

He taught me on that walk to look at everyday as a gift and to just be content on that boat you are on and wait for his surprises. Yes, I want Harper to be here...yes, I want to be skinny again...yes, I want to know everything regarding our future. Today is a great day though. I got to feel my baby kick from my tummy...I got to sit on my mom's back porch...I got to make my dad a PB&J for lunch...I got to talk to close friends...I am awaiting my prince charming to get home from work to hang out with me. Today is perfect for today.

I want to encourage any of you that are "waiting" on anything to just wait with excitement. God is unpredictable. God is funny. God is more than enough and more than amazing. He will always surprise and always over delivers. We cannot outsmart him.

Our sermon on Sunday was about how true gratitude is about growing faith and love and not circumstances. It said not to just be thankful for "stuff" we have that others don't, but to be thankful for what God is teaching us. I watched "that Wade Hanegan dude" walk down to the front altar with tears in my eyes to bow down and pray. I thought to myself "that is growth". I remember early on trying to get him to go to church with me was like pulling teeth. He is growth. How could I have ever know that HE would be my spiritual leader for the rest of my life? Growth. I thought about how in 2006 I wouldn't have even know what the cries of his heart were, but now they are mine too. I love him, I feel for him, I understand him and know what he is bothered by...what hurts him...what his fears are...what he loves and what makes him happy. We are growth. Our marriage is growth.

We fall short every single day, but I have faith that God will continue to let us grow. That he doesn't give up on us. That He is the reason for everything good we have and that we have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. That He will continue to use our clueless-ness for His purpose.

This may not make a bit of sense to anyone, but I always want to remember that walk and the smile on my face. I always want to remember all the things God taught me this past weekend.

Today my friends, I am thankful for growth. I pray that God continues to grow me in faith and love.